Dear Diary
by Lady Stranger
Summary: Archie suggests that Emma and Regina each keep a diary to work their issues out with themselves since they can't really speak to anyone about their secret relationship. SQ, Just a weird fluffy piece. (Rated T for mentioning of sexytimes)


I do not own Once Upon A Time. All characters belong to their respectful owner.

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Dear Diary

One Shot

Dear diary,

I don't know how this works. Do I just write stuff down, and like talk to myself? I really need to tell someone, or so Archie thinks I do. This was his idea, and I think I can't keep my mouth shut anymore.

Okay, I'm gonna do that.

Hi, my name's Emma, and I'm the mayor's girlfriend. Or… sex-friend, only I'm not really a friend.

I got it! I'm the mayor's lover, but… we don't really love each other. I guess…we kinda just have casual sex from time to time, but still maintain our hate-relationship we've always had going. Only there's nothing casual about it, I've spent the night more than I can count. I also have a pair of boots there that I refuse to take home.

Hey, I feel better already! Archie is a genius. I've wanted to get this secret off my chest for 3 weeks now, but there was no one to tell.

I am sleeping with the mayor!

Posted: Friday, April 12th, By Emma.

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Dear diary,

I'm having trouble sleeping with the mayor butt-naked right next to me. I feel like I can't keep my hands to myself. There's no way I can put it into words, this incredible pull, this tightening in my chest, and this massive infatuation I feel towards her. I am speechless to these exhilarating, thrilling, intoxicating emotions that fill me up completely. I don't know! I don't know how to describe them!

Anyway, she's sleeping now, and I'm just out in the hallway, talking to my diary…

Okay, I'm going back inside.

Posted: Sunday, April 21st, By Emma.

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Dear diary,

I stole Regina's underwear after we had sex. I have it on. On on, like I'm wearing them right now. She's probably looking for them since she was still in her office when I left her.

Edit: Ahaha! She just sent me a text, "Miss Swan, you will regret this."

Posted: Tuesday, April 23rd, By Emma.

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Dear diary,

Regina says I can't keep up with her in bed. Now that's a funny joke.

Posted: Wednesday, April 24th, By Emma.

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Dear diary,

We're having too much sex, I think Regina's trying to prove a point.

I'm tired.

Posted: Friday, April 26, By Emma.

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Dear diary,

The cricket won't stop about this method of treatment, so this is my entry for the week. I am sleeping with my sherif.

Edit: I mean with the sherif!

Posted: Friday, April 26, By Regina.

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Dear diary,

So...I don't know how to say this, but Regina was right. I can't keep up with her in bed, but I won't ever admit to that. Yes, we have been doing it way too much lately, and I think my clitoris is about to fall off. Seriously, I'm not even joking. Any minute now. I can feel it throbbing its way to escape as we speak. Poor thing is working over time without any sufficient amount of rest. Please, hang in there!

We just got together a few months ago, and with that stamina of hers, I mean, oh boy. There are no words that can describe how I feel about Regina's magnificent, electrocuting, sex-igniting machine of an energy when it comes to her activities in bed. I am literally dying from having too much sex.

Do you copy that? I. Am. Dying. And let me ask you this: is Regina even human?

Is she?

No, really, is she?

Posted: Friday, May 3rd, by Emma.

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Dear diary,

Emma Swan is an idiot. That is all.

Posted: Saturday, May 4th, by Regina.

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Dear diary, we meet again...

I seem to have made a huge mistake...

I may or may not have accepted Regina's challenge into having a sex battle that involves 10-cm heels, a small bucket of chocolate syrup, some sort of whip -not the creamy kind- and 12 hours of uninterrupted sex. I know, that sounds awesome. It sounded amazing when Regina said it, too, and that's why I agreed right away. But...she wants to stand up the whole 12 hours. Standing-up sex for 12 fucking hours. So let me ask you this: is Regina crazy?

Posted: Sunday, May 5th, by Emma.

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Hey there diary,

The challenge got postponed! Some idiot broke into Regina's home, and she was too pissed off to get into the mood. I wanted to find the person and thank them for what they did, but then I found out they apparently the only thing they stole was my leather boots that I left at Regina's a couple of days ago. I am angry. But I think it's very nice knowing I have an admirer out there who appreciates my sense of fashion.

Such a good day it was!

Posted: Tuesday, May 7th, by Emma.

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Dear diary,

I broke into my own house.

Edit: Emma Swan is still an idiot.

Posted: Tuesday, May 7th, by Regina.

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Dear Diary,

So, we did not have sex tonight. That's a huge relief for my private parts. I could hear them sing when Regina said she had to manually work on her broken window. I got outta there so fast before she changed her mind. We've already had morning sex, which is always so good since we have a time limit that tells us when to stop. Night sex, though, is different.

I can't believe how much she's changed, though. She refuses to use magic now, which I think is awesome.

God, Regina is human after all, and I think…I think I might be falling for her.

Posted: Wednesday, May 8th, By Emma.

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Dear diary,

I have confirmed it with concrete, valid evidence. What Emma Swan feels towards me is indeed lust, and nothing else. When we have sex, she doesn't stop until we black out, and when I suggested an insane sex challenge that seemed physically impossible. No, it was physically impossible, she accepted it without missing a breath. I can't believe I was hoping for more.

And they call me evil.

Edit: She didn't even offer to help me with my broken window. Once she saw there wasn't any sex involved, she just took off.

Edit2: Emma Swan Really is an idiot!

Posted: Wednesday, May 8th, By Regina.

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Dear diary,

We didn't have sex tonight, too. Something is up with Regina, and I have no idea what it is. I think I may have pissed her off. She rolled her eyes at me more than ten times today. Normally it's 3-4 times a day, and I know cause I counted. I think we need to talk to Archie again…

Posted: Saturday, May 11th, By Emma.

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Dear diary,

Seriously, I don't know why she's depriving me of sex.

Why?

Why is she doing that?

What did I do wrong?

Posted: Sunday, May 12th, By Emma.

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Dear diary,

I don't understand why she won't have sex with me anymore, but she's not talking to me, and that's not cool. Not cool at all! She's not even texting, and that's pretty strange since she always sends me texts like, "Miss Swan, don't be a fool."

"Miss Swan, stop sucking all my food."

"Miss Swan, you're such an idiot."

It's her secret pleasure, torturing me. But even that has stopped…

Is this the end of our relationship?

Is she…is she breaking up with me?

I don't want that cause I'm pretty sure that I fell for her hard.

Posted: Tuesday, May 14th, By Emma.

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Dear diary,

I think Emma's breaking up with me. I deprived her of sex, and now she's not even talking to me. I don't want our little arrangement to end, I think I'm falling for her.

Maybe I should confront her.

Posted: Friday, May 17th, By Regina.

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Dear diary,

Regina's definitely breaking up with me. I don't know what to do...

Posted: Monday, May 27th, By Emma.

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Dear diary,

Today, I will confront Emma Swan. I don't want to part ways with that insufferable buffoon. She just means too much to me now, not that I will ever admit that to her. She's a complete idiot, but I like that about her.

I like her.

Posted: Thursday, May 30th, By Regina.

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Dear diary,

Yeah, I won't let Regina so that easily. I think I'm gonna confront her today, and let her know how much she means to me. How much I don't want to part ways with her. She's cold hearted, and a total bitch, but I like that about her.

I like her.

Posted: Thursday, May 30th, By Emma.

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A/N: Just a little fluffy one shot I wrote on my phone. I wondered how many misunderstandings these two can have before they end up actually talking to one another.

Hope you enjoyed this!


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